Controversy: Is it better to be a mistress or a complaining wife?

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Recently, a different voice has emerged online: women would rather be mistresses than shrews. A shrew is a woman who holds the position of wife but is unloved; a mistress is a woman who hides from the public eye. In reality, both shrews and mistresses represent a major failure in life: a shrew lacks the love of a man, and a mistress lacks the proper status she deserves. Let's hear the unspeakable secrets and heartaches of mistresses and shrews who have experienced these situations.

 

 

Controversy: Is it better to be a mistress or a resentful woman?

 

　　mistress

 

　　Xiaoqiu, 30 years old

 

I particularly enjoy Chang Aifei's "Stab the Heart." It's poignant and perfectly captures my feelings: "What I see with my left eye is love, what I see with my right eye is hate." What I once thought was love, ultimately became hatred. I've also read the online post "I'd Rather Be a Mistress Than a Complaining Wife." I imagine it was written by a man. Men all want mistresses, especially young and beautiful ones. So, they list all the advantages of being a mistress and extoll the virtues, hoping to entice more good women to devote themselves to them. Their motives are truly sinister.

 

I have experienced all the happiness of being a mistress, but it was so short-lived, and there were more entanglements and complaints.

 

I studied at a key university. In order to get a good job after graduation, I started working as soon as my senior year started. With a good-looking resume, I went to various well-known companies every day. During the job search, I met Qin Jian (pseudonym). He was the deputy general manager of a large company. He was 1.78 meters tall and had an average appearance, but he gave people the impression of being clean, refreshing, gentle, elegant and masculine.

 

Qin Jian didn't hire me during our initial meeting. Two months later, when I'd forgotten all about it, I received a call from one of his employees. They said there was a suitable position available and I could try it out for a while. While many unsuccessful resumes end up in the trash, this belated offer made me incredibly happy. I later realized that Qin Jian had truly shown interest in me.

 

When I entered the company with gratitude, Qin Jian, who was both talented and charming, became my fatal temptation. We fell in love with each other over time, and it was natural that we finally got together.

 

I hear Qin Jian say "I love you" countless times every day, but for a girl, the best way to love her is to marry her, right? And this is exactly what he absolutely cannot give me. Qin Jian said frankly, his wife is perfect, his son is very cute, and his career is booming. Apart from marriage, he can do everything else to satisfy me.

 

Deep love can make one lose their mind. At that time, all I wanted was a legitimate relationship, and I couldn't stop thinking about him. Finally, Qin Jian couldn't bear it anymore, and he gradually distanced himself from me. I was ready to go all out, make our relationship public, and cause a big scene. Meanwhile, a company CEO, pressured by his lover to marry him, secretly transferred all his assets to his wife and children and disappeared. Some said he was dead, others said he had left the country. In the end, his mistress was left penniless...

 

I suddenly woke up and began to calmly reflect on my love, marriage, and future. I finally understood that while Qin Jian loved me, how true was that love, how deep was it? Our relationship had been a mistake from the beginning. I couldn't afford to continue, and how much youth could I recapture? I decided to call it quits immediately. At this point, Qin Jian seemed reluctant to let go, but in reality, he was incredibly grateful for my letting go. He gave me some relocation money, and I moved to another city.

 

I'm thirty years old this year, and it's been two years since I left Qin Jian. Although its presence has gradually faded from my consciousness, some of its scars are indelible, such as my suspicion of men and my fear of love. I've now become a complete and nagging woman.

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I know this from my own experience. Don't tell me it's good to be a mistress. The end of being a mistress is bound to be a resentful woman. Even if a wife becomes a resentful woman, she still has hope and a chance to turn things around. But what hope do mistresses have?

 

Think about it: since the capital of being a mistress is youth and beauty, why don't we use this capital to start a business or marry a good man? With natural beauty, why should we compromise with a married man? Isn't that crazy?

 

I have been stupid before, so I don’t want more outstanding girls to step into those seemingly beautiful traps. Once they step in, what else can they do but sink?

 

　　The Complainant

 

　　Mistresses are consumed and given alms by men

 

　　Ye Qing, female, 38 years old

 

My husband is four years older than me and is 42 this year. It's frustrating to say this: he'd been having an affair with that woman for about a year and a half before I even knew anything. I immediately confronted him about it, but he confessed that it was just for fun. Even if I hadn't known, he would have found a way to end it. He asked me to give him some time, promising to handle the situation cleanly and efficiently. Apparently, he kept his word and soon returned to the family, rejoining the ranks of exemplary husbands. I still feel a bit of a pang about it, but at least it's over.

 

Seeing my husband go home so carefree after "having fun" with his mistress, I have this to say: It seems that even if a mistress is young, beautiful, well-educated, and well-mannered, so what? A mistress is a youthful creature; men only seek novelty, but sooner or later they will be "disposed of" by the man. It's really not worth it.

 

I am solely in charge of the family finances. My husband has been having an affair for more than a year. During this time, he only used his pitiful pocket money to spend on that equally pitiful woman. The little money he scraped out from his teeth was enough to coax that woman into losing her composure and letting her throw herself into the arms of another man. Not only is he shameless, but he is also so cheap. How could he not make the men happy and secretly smile?

 

Mistresses, believing they are in love with their men, hide and protect them like treasures. Little do they realize it's just charity from their husbands. If it were true love, why wouldn't he dare bring you out in public? Besides saying he loves you, has he ever said he'd marry you? Or why hasn't the man who keeps saying he's divorced to marry you made any move? If it were true love, has he given you all his property for safekeeping?

 

Let me tell you, there is no marriage that cannot be divorced. It is because men never want to divorce. Sweet words and coaxing are used to wait for a love that will never end. Especially when you see many mature women making such low-level mistakes, it is really pitiful and ridiculous.

 

There's a woman at my workplace who had a lover at 32. After the affair was exposed, her husband divorced her. From then on, she lived alone, facing the hatred of her children and the abuse of others. Meanwhile, her lover remained unscathed, returning home to continue playing the role of a good husband, and their life became increasingly comfortable. This year, she's 40 years old and still single. Who would want to marry a woman with such a bad reputation?

 

No one wants to be a nagging wife, and if you're unlucky enough to marry a man who makes you a nagging wife, there's nothing you can do about it. But compared to a mistress, a nagging wife is, after all, a legitimate wife, and it's her husband who has let her down. Whether you feel resentful or angry, that's within your rights, and your husband must admit his mistakes and bear the consequences honestly.

 

The online post about someone preferring to be a mistress rather than a shrew claims that being a mistress is wonderful: you have a man who loves you, provides you with material security, and you also experience physical pleasure. Being a mistress is simply "arrogant, admired, and noble." This is sheer nonsense.

 

Here, I would like to ask: Men, when you are loudly advocating for mistresses, have you ever thought about encouraging your wife or sister to become a mistress? Then, let me ask you one more question, what then?